


Brigitte & Bastion's Leg Stealing Adventure (Brigtion Fanfiction)

by DistinctiveUsername



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Brigtion, Comedy, F/M, Leg Stealing, Love, Mentions of Mercy's Death, Rare Pairings, Romance, True Story from a Roleplay, kings row, true story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 04:56:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19456813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DistinctiveUsername/pseuds/DistinctiveUsername
Summary: Based on a true story!Brigitte was an engineer by day and a leg stealer by night. When she finds herself walking through the streets of King's Row in search of some legs she meets the love of her life. How many legs will they steal together?The true story part is that this was a roleplay that I did jokingly one night in a custom game.





	1. The Hotel

**Author's Note:**

> Book Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGgAjEYl1Lk

Brigitte was an engineer by day and a leg stealer by night. She was walking through the slightly damp streets of King’s Row and it was prime leg stealing time but there was no one around to steal from. No legs at all could be heard other than her own. 

She counted that night as her 50th loss and figured she should find a place to sleep since she hasn't slept in five days. Having both a day job and a night hobby made it hard for her to catch some Zs. She didn’t really have anywhere to go so she just entered a random building and deemed it as her own. Good thing it was abandoned or something. 

The building was nice but it didn’t have any doors, aside from a weird upstairs three foot hallway that had no reason to be up there but it didn’t matter. The bottom floor had nice furniture and paintings of people that no one really cared about. They were just there to look cool or maybe lore-ify the place. Brigitte took a deep breath as she sat down in one of the chairs that she thought would be soft but they were pretty crusty. It felt like a bad Chinese knock off carpet from Walmart. 

Suddenly, there was a soft beep that came from a giant rectangular box at the bottom of the stairs. Brigitte watched it curiously as it transformed into a more humanoid form… with legs! Maybe that night wasn’t another loss after all! She didn’t have to inspect the omnic much closer to realize it was a Bastion. Rare boi. She couldn't steal its legs. That would be like hunting an endangered cat. Horrible, cruel, and endangering. Once again, she marked that night as her 50th loss. 

“Is this your house?” Brigitte asked. “Or did you steal it too?” 

Bastion only shrugged and moved over to the other side of the room closer to Brigitte. She took it as a sign of friendship and smiled. “Mind if I stay? My nightly leg hunt isn’t going so well so I’m just going to sleep.” Brigitte rolled her head back and closed her eyes. 

Bastion could understand human words but he didn’t understand what the strange but cute woman meant by “leg hunt” but it didn’t matter. Bastion beeped a reply to her question and watched her shift uncomfortably in the chair she was in. 

“Howdy.” A cowboy howdied. He was so swift and silent neither Brigitte nor Bastion heard him enter the building. Then again, there weren’t any doors. 

Brigitte’s eyes snapped open. Another human person with stealable legs just entered her “home.” It was perfect. “Hey :)” She tried to act natural. 

“Is this a hotel?” The cowman asked. 

Brigitte looked around the room for a second. “It might be…” She didn’t want him to be skeptical and leave forever so she decided to lie (or tell the truth she didn’t know). “Yes! Yes, it is!” She turned and winked at Bastion. Lol secrets!

“I need me a room.” The man yeehawd. “The name’s McCree.” He tipped his hat flirtatiously at Brigitte. Brigitte smiled but not because McCree was being flirty but because he fell right into her trap that she just set up and it wasn’t very well thought through. 

Brigitte stood up and started walking up the staircase. She motioned for McCree to follow her and he did. Bastion also followed. She led them to that weird hallway with doors. It was perfect. 

McCree stepped inside the smallest room he’d ever seen. He wasn’t very pleased but it had to do. There wasn’t even a bed. What kind of hotel is this? He asked himself. “So, how much ‘s it for a night?” 

“Oooh, just your legs!” Brigitte said eagerly.

McCree’s face fell into a mixture of fear and disgust. “M-my legs?” He stuttered. 

Brigitte only smiled waiting for (hopefully) an agreement. Instead, McCree quickly pointed behind the leg thief “What’s that over there‽” To his surprise, she actually turned around so he flash banged her and rolled off the edge of the building. He hit a car and its sirens started wailing but he was still okay because there isn't any fall damage. He ran using the legs that he planned to keep.


	2. The Other Part

Brigitte looked over the edge hoping McCree died so she could take his legs painlessly but it was a 5 foot drop and he was already running for his life. “Damn!” She swore to herself. 

She thought to herself about how her plan could have worked. Brigitte chuckled when she noticed Bastion staring (if he even could :P He doesn’t really have eyeballs) “We could totally make this a business!” She said. “There’s just like no people around here.” 

Bastion looked over Brigitte’s shoulder. There was a lot of bright flashes and chatter coming from past an arc that led to the other half of King’s Row. He pointed in that direction and Brigitte turned around to look. “Oh, well would you look like that/” 

Brigitte hopped down from the ledge going on about how great of a team she and Bastion would make even though they met 10 minutes ago. Bastion jumped down after her without a second thought and they both went on their way to the other side of King’s Row. 

There seemed to be some sort of party going on. Tons of people were flying around glowing and shouting at the top of their lungs. An old woman was running around throwing glow sticks at everyone's feet. Brigitte hated everything about it. Although it was the perfect place to steal legs because there was so much commotion that nobody would notice someone go missing. 

“See anyone that looks like an absolute loser and has no friends?” Brigitte whispered to Bastion. 

Bastion almost pointed to himself but knew that wasn't what Brigitte meant. He scoured the crowd until his robo vision landed on a ninja Omnic guy. He was just staring at a wall. Bastion beeped and pointed in the ninja's direction. 

Brigitte proudly marched through the crowd towards the green ninja. It was harder for Bastion to get through because he was a giant Lego. 

“Hey, do you need a hotel?” Brigitte asked as she approached her victim. 

The ninja man turned around and said, “Uh no…” then turned back to face the wall again. He was only a shield bash and a swish swash away from getting his legs stolen before Brigitte was pushed out of the way by something or someone. 

“What're you doin’ stealin’ people's legs‽” McCree yelled catching the attention of a few bystanders. “N’ why legs?” The music stopped as people gathered around the cowman and the legstealer. McCree stared Bgiritte down until all the people and omnics at the party surrounded them. “Well?”

Brigitte glanced over to Bastion. She thought he would have stepped into the crowd to avoid being a part of her interrogation but he didn’t. She laughed and turned back to McCree. “Do you know how hard it is to be an overlord when you’re short?” McCree stood confused by her question but she continued on. “I steal legs to become taller. I will be the tallest overlord!” Brigitte’s face looked like an evil anime character with the bottom glow. 

“Why do you wanna rule to the world?” McCree asked after he processed Brigitte’s weird explanation. He wasn’t expecting something as crazy as becoming an overlord. 

“I don’t know. Ruling the world is cool.” Brigitte shrugged. “But I haven’t had much luck collecting legs for various reasons.” Her salt could be tasted by even the omnics. 

“Well… ya don’t have to rule the world, but you can rule my heart.” McCree blushed taking off his hat. He looked down to his feet as they shuffled across the bricks. 

The entire crowd awwed at McCree’s confession but Brigitte only sighed. “I’d love to but…” She turned to face Bastion. “I already love Bastion!”

The crowd stopped aweing and McCree stopped blushing. His bashful expression was replaced with pure confusion. Everyone’s eyes rested on Bastion waiting for his reaction. He stood still and it was impossible to tell his expression because he was an omnic.


	3. THE E N D

Brigitte stared into Bastion’s eye. She was scared that she had freaked Bastion out more than he probably already was with the whole leg stealing thing. Finally after a minute of silence. Bastion beeped. 

“Guys…” Brigitte said softly. “He loves me too!!” The giant group of people cheered and McCree just gave up and walked away. He had had enough weird that night. He would go home and cry. 

“That was so romantic. Zenyatta, play Despacito.” Someone said in the back. Zenyatta sighed and Despacito started playing out of his forehead speakers. It was loud enough to be heard across the entire map. (It’s canon now Zenyatta has forehead speakers) 

Once the music started the party continued. The old lady tossed glow sticks around, the ninja continued staring at the wall, and people danced to Despacito on repeat. It was crazy. Brigitte decided to give up on stealing legs just for a little bit and have some fun. She took Bastion by the hand and led him into a cafe and up the stairs to a rooftop spot. That’s where the music could be heard best. 

There were a few people already up there dancing. “Hi!” The chubby Chinese one waved at the two lovers. “I’m Mei and these are my friends Widowmaker and Junkrat, Nice to meet you!” 

Brigitte was surprised that literally, no one cared that she was a leg stealing criminal but she shrugged it off and danced anyway. She danced hand in hand with Bastion for a while and got to know the others. They were pretty cool but their personalities were too bland to be explained just for the sake of this short story. 

After a few hours, Brigitte checked the time. Good thing there was a giant clock there. It was 3am and Brigitte had officially been awake for six days. The music had long stopped but everyone was still dancing. Brigitte didn’t question it. All she cared about was finding a good place to sleep. 

There was a third part to King’s Row. A dark cave place but with bright lights. Brigitte poked Mei’s shoulder and asked what it was. “Oh, that’s just some omnic birthing place according to the wiki and some Reddit users.” Mei continued dancing. “It’s also where a close friend of mine died…” She frowned remembering the day she was too late to the edge. Mercy will forever be in her heart. 

Brigitte stared into the glowing abyss and got another idea. A leg stealing idea. “Hey, guys follow me!” She said and all three of her new friends stopped dancing. 

“Why?” Widowmaker questioned in her beautiful French accent. 

“Just follow me.” Brigitte motioned with one hand and reached for Bastion’s hand with her other one. Widow shrugged and followed after her and so did Junkrat and Mei. Perfect.

They walked into the glowy place. There was a hole in the ground. The perfect trap. If Brigitte could get her victims to fall into there and die, she could find a safer way down and take their legs. 

She needed a way to lure them in but once she got one it was so well thought out that it couldn't be explained (She didn’t have one that’s why). “Trust me. You won’t be disappointed.” She said before jumping off. 

Then everyone else jumped off after her. They all fucking died. She made a mistake.


End file.
